with sincerest apologies to A.B. “Banjo” Paterson
It was somewhere up the country in a land of rock and scrub,
That they formed an institution called the Kilcoy Toastmasters Club.
They were enthusiastic locals from the rolling countryside,
And the speech was never written that the Toasties wouldn’t try;
But their style of giving speeches was irregular and rash -
They had mighty little science, but a mighty lot of dash:
And they spoke on topics varied in the vernacular and strong,
Though their style was quite unpolished, their stories and tales were long.
And some used to train their voices telling yarns in the pub:
They were demons, were the members of the Kilcoy Toastmasters Club.
Now my readers can imagine how the meetings ebbed and flowed,
When the Kilcoy Toasties got going it was time to clear the road;
And the meetings was so terrific that ere half the year was gone
The Sergeant-at-Arms’ globes was broken – just from merely flicking on.
For they encouraged one another till the agenda was strewn with awards,
Recognition – the prize they cherished and had worked so hard towards.
Then the abinitio president, when he handed the reins to his mate,
Was the proudest toastie leader – on his Hunting Lodge Estate
As new president Dan staked his oratory ground,
Though his new term had just started, he fiercely gazed around;
“I’ll lead from the front” he thought – all the rest were in a trance,
He gave his “roasties’ speech – he knew they had no chance,
For he meant to make an effort to inspire his mottly crew;
So he went to comp – and won it – what more could a President do?
By the old Kilcoy Creek, where the breezes shake the grass,
There’s a Christian Outreach Centre that the locals always pass,
For it bears a crude inscription saying, “Stranger, drop a tear,
For the Kilcoy Toastmasters Club regularly meet here.”
And on misty moonlit evenings, while the yowies howl around,
You can hear their voices straining as the vowels get flown around;
You can hear their loud vernacular as the Kilcoy Toatsies meet,
And the rattle of the gavel, as the speakers rise to their feet.
Though terrified new members “um and er” to the plebian hub -
They’ve been inspired by the camaraderie of the Kilcoy ToastMasters Club.
By Steve Fisher